So I am trying to do everything that I can with the ward so I can get to know people. well this morning I was headed to go walking with some ladies. but as I went to get in the car I cant find my keys, so I had to wait for Chauncy to get home from work which made me a little late but not to bad. Well They had already started walking but didn't see me so I was just going to try to catch up. well there was another girl that was late so we just walked together. I had Morgan in the stroller and the boys on their bikes I thought they do really good on their bikes so I wasn't concerned. Well Erica's Stroller had a flat right off the start so her little boy ended up walking. We figured we weren't going to catch up with the other ladies so we decided to cut through which was not a good idea. It was sandy so there was no way Preston could even ride his bike so I ended up pulling it and pushing the stroller while he ran( not an easy task) but I should look on the bright side I al least got a work out. Well it even to to sandy for Seth to ride his bike, so I had to help him every once in a while It was so long (not a short cut) oh yea Morgan started to scream too but I couldn't do much for her cuz I was pulling Prestons bike and pushing the stroller.
It is so hard being new. They all know each other and talk amongst themselves and its hard to break in. any advice of what to do?
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9 comments:
i know how you feel i hate being the new person... i would just invite one of them to lunch and get to know the girls one at a time because its hard to really talk in a group. hope it gets easier for you :)
Walking regularly is how I made my very best friends. I am STILL trying to make close friends in my ward. Wish I had more advice.
Maybe you could have them all over for a luncheon. A new lady in my ward did that. It was super fun. But if they have all grown up together, it is hard to break in. Give it time. Do you have a calling yet? That will help too. Good luck.
Well I've been in only two wards my whole life so I have no advice. But the advice given already sounds very good! Sounds like you are trying and I'm so proud of you! Good luck!
Keep going!! I know how that feels. I think it helps to just be a listener for a while. It's a good out for you still and your kids are getting out and having fun. And realize that from their perspective they're not nearly as stressed about it as you are. So chill and go along for the ride. If you stress over it, it will become way bigger than it ever would have been. And you'll read into it that they don't like you, or someone was being rude or trying not to include you. But I don't think that will happen. They may not be as open armed as you might hope. (Some will be.) I think the others' have made really good points too, keep going, take opportunities to casually get to know each lady and look for things you have in common. And I've made friends with people just because I did things for them (offer to watch their kids, take them a loaf of bread, have their family over for dinner, etc. ) sometimes that's scary cause you think you'll get taken advantage of, but if you do it in the right spirit, not expecting anything in return, they will feel that and they'll respond! Oh ADVENTURES!! Keep it up girl!
Its not very easy being the new girl. I totally understand. Sounds like you are doing a lot to make friends. We've been in a couple of wards and here are some things I have learned.
1. Don't think they don't like you. Most of the time they just don't know what to say either and just don't say anything.
2. Find someone with kids the same age and invite them to a park or your house for a play date. This gives you something to talk about at least in case it is awkward.
3. Now I don't want to go all churchy on you but one thing that helped me the most is to pray to know what to say/do to make friends. Believe it or not, I am pretty reserved, especially in a new place. This really helped me to not "feel" stupid or shy.
There it is. Not much but you can take it for what it is. Good luck with it! It helps to think as well what point in your life you are at. Sometimes if we focus on other things (i.e. getting the kids adjusted, new callings, etc) these friendships will automatically come.
Hang in there. Keep trying to be active and involved. Yes, I agree with Kassi invite someone over that has kiddos your kiddos ages and they can play and you can visit! Good luck...unfortunately it just takes time.
Having been in many wards, I agree that it takes time. We have lived here for over two years, and I still don't have a "best friend". But I do know a lot more people. Just don't give up. Be willing to talk to people, even if you have to start up the conversation,
Thanks for the comment about ear piercing! Makes me feel better that I'm not alone out there! :0) The only way I've found to pop the bubble and make new friends in a new place is to just get in there! I'm SO not the kind of person to do that, but it's amazing how often everyong else feels the same way you do. Keep being persistent, (even when you don't want to!) positive and outgoing and the friendships will take care of themselves! Hope it helps, good luck!
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